Empath's personal journal.
Today marks the day of the unveiling of Handy's new invention, which he says will revolutionize how we will listen to music forever. This smurf as well as all this smurf's fellow Smurfs have listened to music performed from a device called a phonograph, which is a record in the shape of a disc that a physical needle picks up the sound from the grooves that were etched into the vinyl. Spinner has made use of this form of recorded music for years ever since this smurf first started visiting the Smurf Village, but the problem with phonographs is its size, that you can't carry the music wherever you want to go to listen to it. Handy claims that this new invention will make sure that we can play the music wherever we want to play it.
The village was in quite a stir as every Smurf had gathered outside of Handy's workshop where he had a table and a couple of speakers set up attached to a small device sitting on the table. "Ladies and gentlesmurfs, I now smurf to you the greatest musical invention of all time, the crystal disk smurfer," he announced.
Handy pulled out a shiny disc that was no bigger than his own hand, which made his fellow Smurfs gasp. "Oooh, the crystal disk smurfer," they all said in unison.
"Uh, what's a crystal disk smurfer supposed to do, Handy?" Clumsy asked.
"Here, let me show you," Handy said as he placed the shiny disc into the small device that was on the table and pressed a button. From the speakers they could hear Harmony playing his horn, which made all the Smurfs except Empath plug their ears.
"Uuuuh, Harmony's horn never sounded any clearer, Handy," Hefty said.
"It sounds just like Harmony's playing the horn live right now," Vanity said.
"I hate hearing Harmony playing his horn," Grouchy said.
Then came a series of other noises: Handy banging on nails, a Smurf whistling the Smurf song, the sound of a saw in motion sawing wood, one of Jokey's surprises exploding. In fact, it was every kind of sound that could be heard in the Smurf Village, except that all the sounds sounded like they were live sounds, not recordings.
"How is this able to record every single sound and smurf it back as live music?" Brainy asked.
"It's simple, Brainy," Handy said. "The crystal disk smurfer doesn't use a needle like a phonograph, but rather it uses a beam of light that smurfs the sound onto the disk and then smurfs it from the disc when you play it back."
"That's amazing, Handy," Papa Smurf said. "But what do you expect you will smurf with this invention?"
"Hopefully the same thing we've been smurfing with the phonograph, Papa Smurf," Handy said. "In fact, I'm hoping to be able to smurf a whole new album that will be the first to be smurfed on a crystal disk."
"A whole new album?" Brainy asked. "Why not just have one of those phonographs be smurfed onto a crystal disc?"
"Don't you get it, Brainy?" Snappy said, sounding impatient. "Smurfs don't want to hear music that sounds like Greedy and Nabby smurfing on crackers. They want to hear music that sounds like it's been smurfed live."
"Well, excuse me, Snappy, I wasn't asking for your opinion on this," Brainy retorted.
"Snappy does have a point, Brainy," Empath said. "If the point of having this crystal disk is to record and play back music with the same fidelity and clarity as a live performance, then it would seem reasonable for an album to be created that would take advantage of such a technological breakthrough."
"So when do we get to smurf our own crystal disk smurfers, Handy?" Slouchy asked.
"Soon, Slouchy, hopefully very soon," Handy answered. "This is just the only working model that I have on display. Once I have the first album to be smurfed on a crystal disk, then I can work on smurfing a crystal disk smurfer for every Smurf in the village."
"In the meantime, I will be smurfing up my studio for any Smurf who wants to be the first to smurf up music for the first crystal disk album," Spinner announced, which was met by a lot of hands that were raised.
"I think you're going to be quite busy there, Spinner," Papa Smurf said. "Anyway, I think Handy deserves a smurf of applause for this new music-smurfing invention."
Every Smurf in the crowd applauded, with Handy accepting the praise. "I thank you very much for coming, and I hope you will be here when the crystal disk smurfers are ready for you to smurf up."
"I hate waiting for the crystal disk smurfer," Grouchy said to Empath as the crowd dispersed.
"Nobody likes waiting for a product to finally come out, Grouchy, but you'll see that it will be worth the wait when it does come out," Empath said.
"This one is rather concerned about the noise level this new invention of Handy Smurf's will generate once the Smurfs take advantage of its capabilities, Empath," Polaris Psyche said.
"You think this will create a lot of noise pollution, Polaris?" Empath asked.
"It is one possibility that will likely happen, Empath," Polaris answered. "This one is still trying to get used to having to listen to the various types and styles of music that the Smurfs themselves create during their own live performances."
"The Smurfs do have their own unique ways of expressing themselves through music, Polaris, but this smurf does share your concerns," Empath said.
"Oh, Empath, isn't this so exciting?" Smurfette gushed. "Our fellow Smurfs want to be the first to create an album for the crystal disk smurfer."
"This smurf senses that you want to be part of the excitement as well, Smurfette," Empath said.
"Well, I do, honestly," Smurfette said. "But the thing is, I only know how to sing. I don't know how to smurf a musical instrument or even write music."
"Fortunately this smurf is skilled in both music composition and playing an instrument," Empath said. "But this smurf feels that this may not be enough if we're going to pursue this venture together."
"So who would you think would help me smurf together an album?" Smurfette asked.
"This smurf has one Smurf in mind which I will need to talk to, as well as some others," Empath said. "We'll go visit that Smurf together and see what he wants to do."
In a Smurf house that was dimly lit, a Smurf wearing a green jacket, a shirt, a tie, and wraparound sunglasses was busy creating music with what he called a musical smurfesizer when Empath and Smurfette paid him a visit.
"Ah, Empath, such a pleasure to be visiting me," the Smurf said. "I had just smurfed of Handy's announcement of the crystal disk smurfer and I was thinking of smurfing up music for it."
"Most of the Smurfs in the village are desiring to be the first to create the first crystal disk album, Orbit," Empath said. "This smurf is here to ask you if you would be willing to contribute your musical talents to a project."
"Oh?" Orbit asked, sounding curious. "And just who may I be helping with this project?"
"That would be me, Orbit," Smurfette answered. "I do find your music to be rather...interesting."
"Just interesting?" Orbit said. "That sounds like an understatement smurfing from you, the Smurf that I was hoping to smurf music with. In fact, I might have a song that you'd want to try out and smurf how you like it."
"Do you have the words for it, Orbit?" Smurfette asked.
"Of course I do, my dear," Orbit said, as he handed her a lyrics sheet. "Let me start smurfing the music and then you can start singing at my signal."
Empath and Smurfette listened as Orbit started playing the music on his smurfesizer, and then after the intro he signaled for Smurfette to start singing: "Tonight, I want to smurf it all to you; in the smurfness, there's so much I want to do..."
Empath listened to Smurfette singing the song that Orbit wrote, realizing how natural her voice sounded with the style of music Orbit was playing on his smurfesizer. "I was made for smurfing you, baby; you were made for smurfing me, and I can't smurf enough of you, baby; can you smurf enough of me?"
After the song was done, Empath clapped. "That was just amazing, Smurfette."
"Oh, that was just how I imagined it would smurf with you singing it, my dear," Orbit said. "You must record that song with me. I'll make sure that you smurf the credit for it."
"I'd love to do it, but I'd want you to smurf for my music project when we're finished," Smurfette said.
"Anything for you, Smurfette," Orbit said. "So what do you need me to do besides help smurf the music together?"
"I may need some help as to figure out what kind of songs I'd want to smurf together, Orbit," Smurfette said. "Do you have any ideas?"
"The best suggestion I could smurf you on that is to smurf of a theme and then smurf songs based on that one theme," Orbit said. "Surely there must be one particular theme you can smurf of."
"How about your recent rebirth as a real Smurf, Smurfette?" Empath suggested. "That would be like a whole new ray of sunshine in your life."
"A ray of sunshine," Smurfette thought. "Hmmm, that sounds smurftastic for a song, even for a whole album. I could think of a lot of things that I could smurf about from that theme alone. Meeting Empath for the first time. Baby Smurf smurfing to the village. Thoughts of being alone with Empath. I've got to smurf all these ideas down and see what I can smurf with."
"We'll help you smurf these ideas into songs together, Smurfette," Empath said. "That is, if Orbit is willing."
"My studio is your studio, Empath," Orbit said. "This should smurf the start of a beautiful working relationship together. Is there anything else you may be in need of?"
"This smurf is thinking of some additional musicians to help put this musical masterpiece together, Orbit," Empath said. "And this smurf knows of who might be perfect for the upcoming album."
"Other artists?" Orbit asked. "Well, it's your project and Smurfette's. I'll be willing to smurf with whoever you might smurf into it."
"Mind if I smurf here with Orbit to see what kind of music he can smurf for the album, Empath?" Smurfette asked.
"Of course you can, Smurfette...you do not need to ask this smurf," Empath said. "This smurf will return soon after asking the other Smurfs this smurf has in mind for the project."
Orbit watched as Smurfette slipped a kiss with Empath before he left. "You keep smurfing that, I may have to smurf the both of you out of my studio," Orbit said.
"I'm sorry, Orbit, I didn't mean to offend you," Smurfette said.
"I wasn't offended by it, Smurfette, I was just excited, that's all," Orbit said, smiling. "Now let's smurf through some music samples that I've been smurfing for the past few months and see if there's anything you like."
Meanwhile, the Smurflings were busy practicing her music outside their tree stump playhouse, hoping to come up with music that would make Spinner consider making an album from.
"No, no, no," Snappy said, after a while of practice. "None of this music even sounds smurfy enough."
"Aw, gee, we've been smurfing all day trying to smurf up something to follow our big hit, 'Smurfbop'," Sassette said, sounding frustrated.
"That just smurfed so easy compared to trying to smurf up something to play that every Smurf will want to listen to now," Nat said.
"Well, I've been smurfing of a song of my own creation that I would want us to sing, even if it never becomes part of any album," Slouchy said before he started a bit of singing. "'Oh, I sing of a place that is happy and free, where we all smurf together in one family.'"
"Really, Slouchy, that is just so lame, lame, lame," Snappy said. "I want to smurf something that rocks, rocks, rocks."
"Well, who says that every song that we sing has to rock, Snappy?" Sassette protested.
"Yeah, let's smurf something different for a change," Nat said, sounding like he was in agreement.
"Look, we didn't smurf this band together so that we would sound as boring as Brainy Smurf and his village smurphony orchestra," Snappy said. "We're going to smurf something new, let's smurf something that will make Smurfs really listen to the music."
"I just can't help the kind of music I'm smurfing of, Snappy, even if none of you would want to sing it with me," Slouchy said.
Just then, Empath arrived. "Salutations, fellow Smurflings. Are you also trying to work on a new music album of your own?" he asked.
"That's what we've been smurfing, Empath, but it seems like we can't smurf anything new or interesting besides Slouchy's song," Nat answered.
"It's just an idea for a song, not anything that's complete yet," Slouchy said.
"Frankly, I could use a little something else to do if we can't smurf together any new music, Empath," Sassette said.
"You may be in luck, my fellow Smurflings," Empath said. "Smurfette and this smurf have just gotten together with Orbit to work on a new music album that Smurfette will be singing on."
"Smurfette's going to do singing?" Sassette asked, sounding curious about the project.
"So what do you want with us, Empath?" Snappy asked.
"Well, since you may be reaching a creative impasse, or what Poet might call 'writer's block', with your music, this smurf is offering an invitation for you to help Smurfette put her music album together," Empath answered.
"Work with Smurfette on her album?" Snappy said, sounding excited.
"SMURFABUNGA!" all four of them shouted together.
"So what are we waiting for?" Nat said.
"Smurfette and this smurf are still gathering up the musicians to help us bring this musical work to fruition, Smurflings," Empath said. "As soon as we get the music finished, we'll start on rehearsals. Meanwhile, you can continue practicing your music just in case you may be inspired to create something of your own."
"I certainly feel inspired already, even if the other Smurflings don't agree," Slouchy said.
"You think Smurfette would want to sing your silly song?" Snappy asked.
"Even if she doesn't, I still would want to sing it, and if it doesn't become part of an album, then that's smurfy with me," Slouchy said.
"If the song comes from Slouchy's heart, then it's not really up to us to consider it 'silly' or anything like that," Empath said. "This smurf would love to hear the completion of his solo work when it's ready to be performed."
Slouchy smiled at Empath. "At least Empath can appreciate a good idea for a song."
The next place Empath visited was Sloppy's house, where he could already hear the village garbage collector playing with his caterwauling guitar, making so much noise that his next-door neighbors were sealing up the windows of their houses in the hopes of having some peace and quiet.
Sloppy was so immersed in his music that he barely noticed Empath entering his house without knocking until his jam session was over. "Hey, Empath, what's up?" he greeted. "You want to hear my latest and greatest guitar solo?"
"This smurf can only wonder how you are able to come up with all these different musical masterpieces with your caterwauling guitar, Sloppy," Empath said. "It's like you never play the same guitar solo twice."
"What can I say, Empath? It's either you smurf it or you don't!" Sloppy said. "Anyway, since you're here, I've been thinking of smurfing a solo album for the crystal disk smurfer where it's nothing but my latest and greatest guitar solos. I'm sure every Smurf here wants to remember them just the way that I smurf them."
"An entire solo album? But what about your band, Azrael Rocks?" Empath asked.
"Ah, they'll still be here, but we kind of don't know what to smurf for a new group album, and I don't want to wait that long to smurf my musical chops, if you know what I mean," Sloppy said.
"This smurf is here to present an interesting offer, Sloppy," Empath said. "You see, Smurfette and this smurf are collaborating together with Orbit Smurf to create Smurfette's first music album."
"You're smurfing with Orbit Smurf to create a music album?" Sloppy said. "Cool dude, even if his music is a bit weird for my taste. I really dig the shades that he smurfs, though."
"He's not the only musician who's part of the project," Empath said. "This smurf has also asked the Smurflings to join together in its creation, and apparently they have accepted."
"So you want me to rock with the Smurflings and Orbit...for Smurfette's album?" Sloppy asked. "You've got some interesting tastes, Empath, let me smurf you." He played with his guitar for a bit in order to think about what Empath said. "You know, I've always wanted to smurf a song together with Smurfette, so who knows..." He continued to play with his guitar for a while longer and then suddenly stopped. "At the end of my musical meditation, I've finally decided...you've got yourself a musical partner!"
"This smurf appreciates your willingness to contribute, Sloppy," Empath said. "This smurf will let you know when the rehearsals for the album will begin."
"Hey, I think that I might as well pay Orbit a visit right now and see what he's been smurfing with that smurfesizer," Sloppy said. "If I'm going to be smurfing with him, I want to smurf the feel of the music that I may be smurfing from him. I don't want to just smurf in there blindly when I don't know what he's planning to smurf for Smurfette's album."
"You might want to ask him if he will let you smurf in his studio," Empath advised. "He's currently with Smurfette showing her various musical samples he's created."
"Awesome," Sloppy said. "You think maybe I should clean myself up first, you know? After all, a Smurf's got to make a smurfy first impression."
"That's really up to you to decide if that's what you want to do, Sloppy," Empath said.
"Maybe I should be smurfing up my living space first, you know," Sloppy said. "If I'm going to smurfing other musicians in my house just to practice like Smurfette, I would want to have it smurfing less like a garbage heap."
"Whatever you decide, this smurf is eager to have your performance be recorded for posterity," Empath said.