"Naturally, I became curious of what smurfnip would do to me, because I didn't know just what it is about it that makes Smurfs want to smurf it," Smurfette said, sounding somewhat shameful and hesitant about wanting to confess something like that.
"It's all right, Smurfette," Empath said consolingly. "You didn't know at the time why Papa Smurf was so concerned about the other Smurfs ingesting smurfnip."
"Don't worry, Smurfette...I won't get angry with you for telling me what you have smurfed," Papa Smurf said.
"Well, that night while everybody was sleeping, I smurfed off into the forest to get some smurfnip for myself to try out, Papa Smurf," Smurfette said. "I rolled it up into a paper and then I smurfed it on fire and I smurfed in the fumes. I have never tasted anything like it before...it was like sarsaparilla, but better than that. Anyway, I felt somewhat happy after I have smurfed it, and then I just smurfed off to sleep. But it was when I slept that I have smurfed this disturbing dream."
"What was it that you dreamed after you have smoked the smurfnip, Smurfette?" Empath asked, sounding concerned.
"Well, I was back in Gargamel's castle and he had smurfed me a big smurfday cake for my smurfday, and there were these two creatures who were with them...I think they were called Naughties or something," Smurfette said. "They had light grey skin, and one of them was female and the other was male. They kept saying that we're family because Gargamel created them to be like me, only as his personal minions."
"Naughties?" Papa Smurf said. "I could only imagine that's what Gargamel would call them."
"Given how Gargamel is constantly portrayed, this one would have to agree with you, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"Anyway, Gargamel had smurfed me my own magic wand for a smurfday present, and said that I could smurf anything that I want, anything that my little heart desires," Smurfette said. "I never felt so happy to have a family, even if they were smurfed by Gargamel, but there was just one problem...Gargamel wanted me to smurf the formula for changing me into a real Smurf. I knew what the formula was, but I promised Papa Smurf that I would never smurf the formula to anyone, not even to Gargamel. And so I refused."
"But Gargamel refused to smurf no for an answer from you, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said.
"No, Papa Smurf, he wouldn't, and because of my refusal I started seeing my brother and my sister, the Naughties, die," Smurfette said. "He told me that they cannot live unless I smurfed him the formula. I didn't want to lose them, so that's when I smurfed him the formula, and when he smurfed it together, I saw Vexy and Hackus...that were their names...suddenly become blue and smurfy before my very eyes. But we didn't have much time to celebrate before me and them were smurfed into this invention that would extract Smurf essence from us."
"That must have been very frightening for you, Smurfette," Empath said. "How did you feel after having the dream?"
"I honestly didn't feel very good, Empath," Smurfette said. "Tapper came by to visit me that morning and noticed that my eyes were slightly green, but I sure wasn't feeling smurfy waking up that morning. He was the only one that I ever smurfed that dream to, and it was then that I decided that I wasn't ever going to smurf that herb again."
"It's a good thing you chose to learn from that experience, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "I certainly didn't want to see you get smurfed up in the same problem that some of my little Smurfs are having."
"In any case, how did Grouchy deal with having that euphoric feeling that came from smurfnip being taken away from him?" Polaris asked.
"I had Duncan smurf a talk with him alone in the forest, since Grouchy felt more comfortable smurfing his problems to both him and Tapper when Empath wasn't here to listen to him," Papa Smurf said.
And as Papa Smurf continued the story, Empath and Polaris both saw Duncan McSmurf out in the forest with Grouchy collecting sarsaparilla for Tapper.
"You see, your fellow Smurfs care enough for you that they don't want to see you hurt yourself just so you can feel smurfy, Grouchy," Duncan said.
"But I never felt as smurfy as I did yesterday when Jokey smurfed me the smurfnip, Duncan," Grouchy said. "I didn't smurf any harm to anybody while I was smurfing it."
"But you never know if you'll be able to control yourself when you're smurfing that kind of drug, Grouchy," Duncan said. "Suppose you smurfed someone by accident because your head was smurfing in a cloud all the time."
"How is that any different from other Smurfs with their heads in the clouds?" Grouchy said.
"I just know that the Grouchy whose head is in a cloud of smurfnip isn't the Grouchy that I know and love," Duncan said. "I know you have problems smurfing with your fellow Smurfs, and me and Tapper are trying to help you with those problems. I just don't see how smurfnip will do anything positive for you."
"You think I'm really better off smurfing the way that I am without smurfnip, Duncan?" Grouchy said. "Half the time I don't even like how I am."
"We all have parts of us that we don't like half the time, Grouchy," Duncan said. "But that's part of the battle that we smurf on a daily basis...having to deal with those parts that we don't like. Just know that you're not in this battle alone, and even if don't crack a smile once in a while, I'm not going to smurf the worst of you for it."
Grouchy stopped his work to think about what his friend was saying. "I'm glad that you're one of the few Smurfs around here that I can smurf to about my problems. I'd sure hate to lose either you or Tapper."
"The other Smurfs will be there for you in case you feel the need to smurf out to them, Grouchy," Duncan said as he saw a faint glimmer of a smile on Grouchy's face.
"In the meantime, though, Gargamel was not all that happy about letting his cat smurf about in the forest wherever he wanted, even if it was to hunt for Smurfs, which in this instance he wasn't," Papa Smurf said.
And then Empath and Polaris could see that Gargamel is outside his hovel looking here and there for his pet. "Ooooh, where could that miserable feline be at this moment?" he muttered to himself. "It figures that my home has to be near this forsaken forest with those wretched Smurfs living nearby that I somehow can't find the way to their village, and I have to listen to their insipid happy singing all the time while they go about their merry smurfy way to make my life a living hell.."
Then soon Gargamel saw his cat staggering his way toward the hovel, looking like he has been intoxicated with something. "There you are," Gargamel said, staring suspiciously at his cat. "If you weren't chasing after Smurfs or anything smaller than yourself, it figures that you would be cavorting in the catnip again as usual. What you bag of fleas find so interesting about that plant to make you act so crazy, I will never be able to figure out."
Azrael meowed as his head lolled before the rest of him passed out right near Gargamel's door.
"But that gets me wondering...what else in the forest will attract Smurfs beside the usual disgusting plants like smurfberries and sarsaparilla?" Gargamel said to himself, rubbing his chin in thought. "Maybe one of my books on the local flora will help solve this problem."
Gargamel stepped back into his house, accidentally stepping on Azrael's tail on the way, causing the cat to yowl in pain.
"Let's see what other plants have the name 'smurf' in it," Gargamel said as he opened the book on local flora and searched through its pages. Then he found something. "Ah, here it is...a plant called smurfnip. 'It has an intoxicating property that when inhaled or ingested gives the Smurf a feeling of euphoria, sometimes also accompanied by powerful hallucinations.' A plant that can affect Smurfs in a way that catnip affects my stupid pet."
Azrael came in staggering, wondering what his master is up to now.
"Well, if this plant can make Smurfs hallucinate things while they're getting intoxicated out of their little blue minds, maybe there's a way that this plant can help me catch Smurfs," Gargamel said. "It's got to be something that no Smurf is able to resist...something that they wouldn't suspect would make them so high and flying until they end up dying in my cooking pot."
"Back in the village, I had the problem of how to deal with my little Smurfs smurfing smurfnip, and I wasn't sure what to come up with for a solution, so I ended up turning to Tapper for some advice," Papa Smurf said.
Then Empath and Polaris saw Papa Smurf talking alone with Tapper in his laboratory. Tapper stood still while he watched Papa Smurf pace back and forth while he was talking.
"You see what I'm smurfing with, Tapper...this plant is like the proverbial apple in the garden that your holy book smurfs about," Papa Smurf said. "It's so tempting, and yet I also know the danger that lies in smurfing this plant."
"I understand that it won't be so easy to keep Smurfs away from smurfing their hands on smurfnip, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "But the question you seem to be asking is how to keep the other Smurfs from smurfing it."
"I feel like just warning about the dangers isn't enough to make them keep away from the plant, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "But I'm not sure I would like the idea of some form of police force to smurf over the other Smurfs to smurf them on the straight and narrow."
"I'm not certain that enforcing a prohibition on smurfnip would work in the long run, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "All that I believe it would smurf is encourage bad behavior on the part of those who would desire this plant instead of good faith that the Smurfs would make a sound decision of their own will that they will stay away from smurfnip."
"And I do know that smurfnip does have medicinal purposes, like the eye drops that I smurf for Orbit's eyes made from the extract, so destroying the plant itself is out of the question," Papa Smurf said.
"So what we would need to do is encourage Smurfs that smurfing a life that is free of using things like smurfnip would be a better approach than an outright prohibition, Papa Smurf," Tapper said. "If the Smurfs are able to smurf for themselves that they can live their lives apart from smurfing with dangerous substances, then they will choose for themselves to smurf the right thing."
"Then we need to encourage that kind of message through some form of program that would interest my little Smurfs...perhaps even a health conference," Papa Smurf said. "I think that I'm going to need the help of a few other Smurfs if we're going to smurf in this direction."
"Hefty and Culinary would be ideal for helping to smurf a health conference, Papa Smurf," Tapper suggested.
"Fine, then I'll leave the planning of this conference in your hands, Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "I may also have Brainy join you in smurfing it together, but the main focus is that we want to encourage Smurfs to smurf good habits instead of bad ones."
"Aye, Papa Smurf, I understand," Tapper said, nodding with acceptance.
"And so began my campaign that I would call 'Smurf No To Smurfnip', which I have told all my little Smurfs about through a public announcement just so they would know that we'd be smurfing this thing together," Papa Smurf said.
"This one doubts that the entire village was unanimous in its support of this campaign, Papa Smurf," Polaris said.
"I knew that there would be a few Smurfs among them that wouldn't be in favor of this campaign, Polaris, but that was the risk I would face when I have smurfed this campaign with Tapper," Papa Smurf said. "Nonetheless, most of my little Smurfs were eager to smurf it a try and see how it will help them in their decision to smurf away from smurfnip."
As Papa Smurf continued with his story, Empath and Polaris saw Tapper talking with his fellow Smurfs in his tavern about the Smurf No To Smurfnip campaign.
"I don't get it, Tapper," Dimwitty said. "Why is it that Papa Smurf is so concerned about us smurfing no to smurfnip? It's not like the entire village is smurfing this plant, are we?"
"Papa Smurf cares about you and your health, my fellow Dimwitty, and frankly so do I and a few other Smurfs," Tapper said. "He wants you to know that you don't have to smurf your life so dependent on smurfing a drug to make you feel good."
"Well, if that's the case, why should we not also smurf no to sarsaparilla ale?" Chatty asked. "Why is it that smurfnip's the thing we should worry about?"
"Smurfnip is a powerful hallucinogenic plant, my fellow Chatty," Tapper said. "It may make you feel good, but it's not worth having yourself experience things that aren't real, things that can be dangerous to the point of where you're not smurfing any attention to what's real."
"This is ridiculous, Tapper," Lazy said. "I smoked smurfnip and I don't see how dangerous it really is. Papa Smurf's just smurfing things up to keep us from enjoying it, that's all."
"What's Papa Smurf going to do...smurf a police force through our village to get us to stop smurfing smurfnip?" Nabby asked.
"Papa Smurf's not going to force anyone to stop using smurfnip, laddies," Duncan said. "He wants us to be able to smurf up our own minds and smurf the right decision when it comes to this plant."
"Yeah, sure, I bet Brainy and Hefty are in cahoots with Papa Smurf right now, ready to smurf down the law to make us smurf what he wants with us," Nosey said.
"Please, this isn't the place to be smurfing rumors about anyone in this village, my fellow Nosey," Tapper said. "You'll see for yourselves that Papa Smurf is not out to smurf away your freedoms, but only wants what is smurfy for you."
"Well, if it's going to take a police force to get Smurfs to stop smurfing that smurfnip, I'd say that we should start smurfing one together," Hefty said.
"A very wise decision, Hefty Smurf," Brainy said. "As Papa Smurf's faithful assistant, I would like to make sure that all our fellow Smurfs are obeying the laws of this village, and that any infractions will be smurfed with various forms of punishment according to proper judicial procedures."
"Proper judicial procedures?" Lazy asked. "What the smurf do you mean, Brainy?"
"I'll tell you what it means...that Brainy wants to smurf this village into a police state if he has his way here," Chatty said.
"That is not going to happen, Chatty," Tapper said firmly. "We are going to smurf this campaign without smurfing any kind of police force to enforce a prohibition. Anyone who wants to smurf otherwise are going to have to deal with Papa Smurf on this matter. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Tapper, we understand," most of the Smurfs said together.
As the Smurfs turned to having private conversations with each other, Brainy and Hefty also did the same. "I'm surprised that you actually agree with me on this issue, Brainy," Hefty said. "The only thing is, how are we going to smurf about doing it?"
Brainy looked at Hefty with a knowing smile. "I seem to smurf a few ideas in mind, Hefty."
Meanwhile, Duncan noticed something going on with Grouchy. "What seems to be the problem, laddie?" he asked.
"I don't like what it is I'm feeling, Duncan," Grouchy said, speaking low so that nobody else would hear them. "It's like there's some sort of being tempting me to smurf more of the smurfnip."
"You mean like a devil Smurf with horns and a pitchfork?" Duncan asked.
"No, it's worse," Grouchy said. "I don't know if it's a leftover hallucination or not, but he keeps telling me that I was smurfy before the others smurfed me away from the smurfnip."
"Well, Grouchy, this is where you're going to be fighting an addiction," Duncan said. "The one thing you need to smurf yourself is that you're in charge of smurfing your own life, not the smurfnip."
"I don't think it's as easy as it smurfs to tell this thing to smurf lost," Grouchy said.
"That's why you've got to smurf yourself with what I call 'the armor of the spirit'," Duncan said. "Imagine yourself smurfed head to toe with an invisible smurf of armor that only you know exists. Nothing can smurf into that armor unless you let it. You feel the enemy smurfing at you, you smurf up your shield and sword and say, 'Nay, I am protected with the armor of the spirit'."
"'The armor of the spirit'," Grouchy repeated to himself. "Maybe I should smurf this thing a try and see if it smurfs."
"All you have to do is believe and this armor will smurf for you, laddie," Duncan said. "And just to let you know, Tapper and I got your smurf on this. You won't be fighting this battle alone."
Grouchy nodded with understanding. "I may not like this one bit, but what else am I going to try?"
After the tavern closed, Tapper walked Smurfette home. "Are you sure you're feeling all right now, Smurfette?" he asked.
"I know that what I experienced was probably the effects of the smurfnip, Tapper, but I do have the feeling like Gargamel is still smurfing after me, wanting me to smurf back to the way I was before I became a real Smurf," Smurfette said.
"I know that this feeling still smurfs you, Smurfette, and I wouldn't envy you for it," Tapper said. "But know that Gargamel can't smurf you the same kind of love that Papa Smurf and all your fellow Smurfs can. He created you only for the purpose of destroying us, and once he smurfs his way, he would not hesitate to smurf on you when your purpose is complete."
"I know that for sure, Tapper," Smurfette said. "But what if Gargamel was able to create these creatures like the Naughties that I have smurfed in my dream? Would he be able to smurf me through the creation of a family, that I would somehow love them as my brother and my sister?"
"I wouldn't know the answer to that question, Smurfette," Tapper said. "But if Gargamel were to treat these Naughties the same way he would treat you as his servant, I don't see how I would smurf that as a family. What you have here in the village is more of a family than what you will smurf out of Gargamel."
"I just wish he wasn't so mean and nasty toward us, Tapper," Smurfette said. "But I guess I'll have to smurf with the fact that nothing in the world can ever change his heart for anyone."
"I still believe that the Almighty can change Gargamel for the better, if that's what He desires of him," Tapper said. "For now, though, remember that the dream you smurfed is most likely a hallucination and not a prophecy of things that will smurf for you."
"You're right, Tapper...it may be just nothing more that a hallucination," Smurfette said as they reached her door. "Thank you for letting me talk with you. I'll smurf you again in the morning."
"Have a pleasant night's sleep, my dear Smurfette," Tapper said as he saw her walk into her house before he returned to his own home.
In Brainy's house, Brainy showed Hefty a couple of uniforms that he had personally made for a costume party, which he originally intended for himself and Clumsy to wear. Hefty tried one of the outfits on and looked at himself in the mirror to see how he looked wearing them.
"Hey, this costume idea of yours is not bad, Brainy," Hefty said as he flexed one of his arms while posing in front of the mirror. "This really smurfs off my athletic figure and makes me look like one bad smurf."
"I figured that someone like you would appreciate the design, Hefty," Brainy said. "It smurfs with a baton that you can use to keep other Smurfs from smurfing out of line while we enforce the law of the village."
"Well, what's to keep me from smurfing you on the head with this baton, Brainy?" Hefty asked.
"Just you try it right now and find out, Hefty," Brainy challenged.
Hefty took the baton and tried clubbing Brainy over the head. "Hey, nothing happened to you," Hefty said when he didn't see his friend staggering around. "So what gives?"
"Behold, these police hats are reinforced with iron mesh, so it can protect our heads in case the Smurfs start rioting or something," Brainy said, knocking on his hat and showing how hard it is. "You will be the one who gets the Smurfs to smurf in line while I will be the one who smurfs out the tickets and smurfs the fines to every Smurf who breaks the law."
"Smurfing out fines?" Hefty asked. "How are they going to pay for breaking the law?"
"Each Smurf that breaks the law will smurf a minimum of at least fifty smurfberries, which shouldn't be problem unless there's a food smurfage or a disaster, in which case all punishments and penalties will be suspended," Brainy explained.
"I'm not sure that's going to keep Smurfs from using smurfnip, but at least it will give me an excuse to smurf Gutsy in his place for all the times he smurfs me in mine," Hefty said as he pounded the baton into his other hand.