"Let's Introsmurf Ourselves"

Song by Vic George
Based on "Just Like Their Names" from The Smurfs And The Magic Flute.

Papa Smurf: You think all Smurfs look the same. That's what you claim? They all look the same? Now give me a chance to explain. See how they act like their names. This one's called Greedy who likes to make treats. And whatever he makes for us, he also eats.

Greedy: Cooking and eating are my favorite things, I'm happy that Finicky isn't my name.

Papa Smurf: And smurfing beside him is the Smurf we call Nabby. When it smurfs to food, he can be quite grabby.

Nabby: Four-fingered discounts is my favorite game, for otherwise Nabby just wouldn't be my name.

Papa Smurf: Culinary, Biscotti, Gelato, and Vino, they work in the kitchen alongside Greedy, oh.

Culinary, Biscotti, Gelato, and Vino: We...are...the kitchen crew. We...have...cooking to do.

Culinary: I smurf the main course.

Biscotti: And I smurf the breads.

Gelato: And I smurf the desserts and buttery spreads.

Vino: And I smurf the juices.

Culinary, Biscotti, Gelato, and Vino: That's what we do as part of the kitchen crew.

Papa Smurf: Next meet two Smurfs who never disagree. One does gardening, the other poetry.

Poet: I find beauty in verse. I think your work's a curse.

Farmer: With me it's just fine to do his work and mine.

Papa Smurf: This Smurf is Lazy, his job's never done... he works like a daisy, asleep in the sun.

Lazy: I don't overexert. That way I never get hurt. Sleeping is my favorite game. Thats why Lazy's my name.

Papa Smurf: Handy Smurf's job is to fix and repair. If Clumsy's around, you better beware.

Handy: I just fix this machine. It is re-oiled and clean. My job isn't serene whenever Clumsy's on the scene.

Smurfs: How can you say we're the same? That's what you claim, we are the same. Each one of us has our own fame, simply revealed by us being our names.

Papa Smurf: The Actor Smurf is what this guy's been named, his singing and dancing keeps us entertained.

Actor: Performing on stage is the best of careers...I like to wear costumes and hear all the cheers.

Papa Smurf: A mumble or two is all he'll exclaim. Listen to Grouchy, he will explain. (Pauses) Well?

Grouchy: I don't act like my name.

Papa Smurf: Our Brainy Smurf is really quite clever, but once he starts talking, he'll go on forever.

Brainy: There are proverbs we should all remember...you can lead a Smurf to water but you can't make him drink, a Smurf in the hand is worth two in the bush, and some Smurf is... (Brainy continues talking while other Smurfs are passing a hammer to hit Brainy on the head.)

Papa Smurf: We name this one Hefty 'cause he's so strong. To finish a tough job, he'll work all day long.

Hefty: I am so strong because I exercise. Staying healthy I would advise.

Papa Smurf: These other two Smurfs are called Duncan and Tuffy. They're smurf on the job when things get so rough-y.

Duncan: I'll smurf up the laddies and smurf them such pain, to let them know that Gutsy just isn't my name.

Tuffy: And Hefty's the Smurf that I would like to be. But most of the time, I'm rather mouthy.

Papa Smurf: And this here is Tapper, he serves us the ale. Ask him for advice, he'll gladly regale.

Tapper: I help the boys relax. I'm very good with facts. The best ale in town is my claim. That's why Tapper's the name.

Papa Smurf: This Smurf is called Jokey, he loves to play jokes. All of his presents go up in a smoke.

Jokey: The bigger the boom, the bigger the grins. The other Smurfs don't know what fools they have been.

Papa Smurf: To live without mirrors would be a calamity, so thinks the Smurf we all know as Vanity.

Vanity: I like beauty, I like style, I like seeing myself with a smile. I'm the most beautiful thing there could be. That's why I'm called Vanity.

Papa Smurf: Painter and Sculptor are two artists by name. As for which one is better, they can be quite vain.

Painter: Oui, I think my work's the best.

Sculptor: You're smurfing that to just be a pest.

Painter: You think you smurf better?

Sculptor: Oui, I know I smurf better.

Painter and Sculptor: But we let our critics smurf the rest.

Smurfs: Still do you think we're the same? That's what you claim, we are the same. Each one of us has our own fame, simply revealed by us being our names.

Papa Smurf: Now Barber's the Smurf who just loves to cut hair. With more Smurfs to work with, he'll smurf it with flair.

Barber: But what can I do, when my customers are few? Such a real shame, when Barber Smurf is my name.

Papa Smurf: And Sweepy's the Smurf who cleans up our chimneys, all covered in soot and smurfing quite nimbly.

Sweepy: This is my job, and I smurf it quite well. 'Tis a shame that other Smurfs don't think that's so swell, because I end up smurfing their houses in a mess. All the same, it's a job that I smurf it my best.

Papa Smurf: And these two Smurfs here are called Sloppy and Tidy. One smurfs in a mess, the other bright and shiny.

Sloppy: I smurf up the garbage.

Tidy: And I smurf the clothes, and I smurf the odors that offend my nose.

Sloppy and Tidy: We both like to keep our own village so clean.

Sloppy: But Tidy likes it much cleaner than me.

Papa Smurf: And duller than Clumsy is the Smurf called Dimwitty. He's one of the few Smurfs for whom we have pity.

Dimwitty: (Pauses for a good while.) Gosh darn it, I just can't think of anything to sing about myself.

Papa Smurf: Cobbler and Tailor, they keep us quite dressed. Their work in the village is such a success.

Cobbler: I smurf up shoes, that's all that I do.

Tailor: And I smurf the hats and the pants and the rest.

Papa Smurf: Harmony's the Smurf who likes smurfing his horn, but he's been out of tune since the day he was born.

Harmony: Smurfing up music is my favorite thing; just smurf for yourself why Harmony's my name. (Plays a short tune from his horn.)

Papa Smurf: Scaredy and Sickly I'll introsmurf together. One's scared of his own shadow, the other's under the weather.

Scaredy: Oh, I am so frightened by so many things. It's truly the reason that Scaredy's my name.

Sickly: And being named Sickly is hardly a thrill, when all of your life you are feeling so ill.

Papa Smurf: The reason he's called Tracker is hardly a surprise. He's the Smurf in the village with the best nose, ears, and eyes.

Tracker: I know all of my plants. I'm friendly with even the ants. Following a trail is my favorite thing. Now you know why Tracker's the name.

Papa Smurf: And this pretty young Smurf is the one we call Smurfette. She's the only girl Smurf who makes smurfing here worth it.

Smurfette: I'm surrounded by a hundred young boys. They all want to smurf me such joy by being the one Smurf that I'm going to marry, but I just can't do that because I'm so very in love with all of the Smurfs equally. Well, so much for my plans to marry.

Smurfs: Now do you think we're the same? This very claim, we're not the same...when someone says Smurfs are bizarre, and they want to know just who we are...you can sing this very refrain, see how we act, just like our, just like our, just like our, just like our names. (Ends with Brainy getting bonked.)

                      on this!

                      on this!