"Michty me, what a situation the lassie has smurfed herself into," Duncan McSmurf said. "I could only wonder what her fellow Smurfs were thinking."
"Handy was starting to get really worried about Smurfette not returning, and the Smurflings themselves were worried about Sassette not returning as well," Narrator said. "They started to ask around if they have seen either of them, but none of the other Smurfs said that they did. This made Handy a little mad, thinking that Smurfette, even as a leader, has no smurf of organization."
"But how could they know that Gargamel was smurfing them, Narrator, if Papa Smurf didn't want his little Smurfs to know about his plan to make Smurfette a recognized leader of Smurfs?" Chatty said.
"That was something that they were going to find out for themselves, Chatty," Narrator said. "In any case, while the Smurfs in the village were busy looking for both Smurfette and Sassette, Gargamel had them smurfing in his laboratory doing the cleaning along with Scruple while he was busy smurfing a refresher course in basic magic with Papa Smurf as his tutor."
And as Narrator continued his story, Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw Papa Smurf chained to a candle holder on the wall while he was standing on a lectern helping Gargamel find the right spell book to study with. Azrael kept watch over Smurfette and Sassette as they both did cleaning of the shelves, while Scruple grumbled with his mop, broom, and duster to clean every speck of dirt in the place.
"Do you have the grimoire of Abramelin the mage in your library?" Papa Smurf asked.
Gargamel looked through his books to find the book in question. "Uh, of course I have it, but I don't use it often. I'll have to look..."
"Ah! And do you have the Liber stupidus pro nullis?" Papa Smurf asked.
"Uh, I'll find it right away," Gargamel replied as he continued to look for the first book.
Papa Smurf chuckled. "I doubt that you will, because I made that one up. Instead, take Albert the Great...it's the red book that's sitting in front of your nose," he suggested.
As Gargamel spotted the book that Papa Smurf directed him to, Smurfette called his attention to her. "I'm sorry, Papa Smurf," she said. "I wouldn't have smurfed here all by myself if I knew Gargamel had smurfed you and Sassette."
"Don't worry about that now, Smurfette," Papa Smurf said. "Just let me handle this while you continue the cleaning. We'll find a way out of this."
"Enough of the chit-chat, Papa Smurf!" Gargamel shouted as he quickly placed the book upon the lectern. "It's time for studying!"
"Very well then, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said as he opened the book to a certain page. "Let's start with something basic...like a love potion."
"A love potion?" Gargamel said. "But I'm not very good with anything that has to do with love."
"If all he has for company in his hovel is just us two, Azrael, I would have to agree with him," Scruple muttered quietly, which made Azrael snicker.
"It's the base material, if you're going to prove yourself to the jurors who will examine you, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said. "Now tell me, how would you prepare a love potion, from what you would know from the top of your head?"
Gargamel looked up at the ceiling, trying to think. "Let's see...I take a pink candle and I burn violet incense to the full moon...I fill a bottle of fresh water, then add magnet powder, a few drops of rose water..." He paced around for a little while and then suddenly stopped and snapped his finger. "Aha! I got it! Then I macerate the saliva of a young turtledove and the brain of a linnet! What do you say to that?"
"Quite interesting, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said. "I'm sure that your potion would have some sort of effect, but to inspire love...I doubt that it would ever work."
"Well, isn't that interesting?" Scruple quietly spoke to Azrael. "Gargamel can't even get the ingredients for preparing a love potion right! It's basic stuff that even an early-grade sorcerer's guild student would know right off the bat!"
"This review promises to be very bad for you, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said. "We surely have our work cut out."
And so Papa Smurf took Gargamel through a few more quizzes from the spell book to test his basic knowledge, while Scruple continued to listen in during his cleaning, resisting the urge to help out his master in any way possible, if only to see how terrible he really is at remembering basic sorcery skills.
"Give me the recipe for the ointment that protects one from fire, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said as he turned to the page that had the recipe.
"An ointment that protects one from fire, eh?" Gargamel said as he again tried to think of what all the ingredients for the preparation would be. "I would put...um...the juice of nettles...and also the scales of a dragon, dried salamander powder, and...and the droppings of a phoenix!"
Papa Smurf slapped his forehead in frustration. "No, no, you're making this all up! I have a feeling this is going to take us all night!"
"It makes me wonder how he even managed to graduate from the sorcerer's guild if he couldn't remember any of the basic materials," Scruple muttered to Azrael, who just responded with a roll of his eyes as if he couldn't figure it out himself.
"Back in the village, the Smurfs decided that they were going to start searching for both Smurfette and Sassette," Narrator said. "As it was smurfing near nightfall, the Smurfs went out into the forest with lanterns in order to find the two Smurfettes, with Puppy helping the Smurflings in their search."
And Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw the Smurfs in the story with their lanterns calling out for both Smurfette and Sassette, with the Smurflings going off with Puppy and Gutsy to see if they could find Sassette. After a while of searching, they convened together to report their results.
"Neither of them answer our calls, Hefty," Tuffy said. "I don't know what to smurf."
"This situation is smurfing too serious," Brainy said in a worried voice. "We need to get Papa Smurf to help us."
"You're right, Brainy," Hefty said. "As soon as it's morning, we're going to visit Homnibus and see if Papa Smurf is still there with him."
"I only hope Sassette is all right, wherever she is in the forest when she went smurfwalking," Snappy said.
"Don't smurf up hope yet, laddies," Gutsy said. "If Smurfette's found the little lass, they'll know how to smurf out of danger together."
"Oh, Mother Nature and Father Time, I pray for your protection right now on our missing Smurfs that you smurf them safe from whatever may harm them at this time of night," Brewer said as he joined the other Smurfs in their return to the village.
Meanwhile, in Gargamel's castle, the evil wizard was starting to fall asleep trying to recite the invocation of protection while Scruple and Azrael were already resting in their beds, and Smurfette and Sassette were both placed together in the pantry, locked up and fast asleep. Papa Smurf could see that the refresher course in basic sorcery skills wasn't getting anywhere.
"Just go to bed, Gargamel," Papa Smurf advised. "We can do no more tonight."
And then Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw that it was now morning, and Hefty and Brainy had flown on Feathers to Homnibus' hovel far beyond the Smurf Forest where they saw the elderly human wizard going out to gather ingredients.
"Ho there, my young fellows," Homnibus greeted. "What brings you here today on this fine morning?"
"We're here to get Papa Smurf, Homnibus, because there's something important in the village that requires his immediate attention," Brainy explained.
"Papa Smurf?" Homnibus said. "I'm afraid that he isn't here."
"You mean he has already left?" Hefty asked. "What time did he leave here?"
"Leave here?" Homnibus responded. "I haven't seen Papa Smurf here for months. And I surely didn't send for him anytime even until now."
"Well, that's strange, Hefty," Brainy said. "If Papa Smurf wasn't with Homnibus all the time that he was gone, then where could he have smurfed off to?"
"That's just great...first Smurfette and Sassette are both missing, and now so is Papa Smurf," Hefty said. "I'm not sure I'm going to like finding out."
"Meanwhile, Gargamel had smurfed Scruple out into the woods to collect some rotten rock fungus, but only to have one less person in the house to make him feel as unsmurfy as he was at that moment waiting for the jury to show up for his review," Narrator said.
And Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw Gargamel in his hovel pacing around nervously while Papa Smurf was watching him from his cage. "Gargamel, would you please stop fidgeting like that?" Papa Smurf said. "You need to save your energy."
"Easy for you to say, Papa Smurf," Gargamel said. "I'd like to see you face them. If I am expelled from the order, I'd have to work as a common healer." He paced around the room some more before inspiration struck him. "You must help me get the right answers when they come."
"And how will I do that?" Papa Smurf asked.
"I will just simply place you behind them, and you will give me signs," Gargamel answered.
"That is cheating, Gargamel," Papa Smurf said.
"Who cares if it is?" Gargamel said. "Forget your doubts and your scruples, and think of your two dear little Smurfs. They're the ones whose lives depend on you right now to do the right thing." Suddenly Gargamel could hear the sound of horses outside his window. "Oh no...they're here!"
Two humans dressed in robes, an elderly man and a woman with green hair, stepped off a horse-driven carriage to examine the place where they have arrived at. "A sorry place this is...a lugubrious thatched cottage," the woman said with a disdainful aristocratic voice.
"Yes, the setting is indeed ideal for a warlock," the elderly man said as the two approached the door and knocked. Gargamel answered it soon afterward.
"My name is Madame Blackthorne and this is my associate Elder Winters," the woman announced. "We have been sent from the Order of the Sorcerers to be your case examiners."
"You must be Gargamel, I presume?" Elder Winters asked.
"Oh, yes, please come in...I have been expecting you," Gargamel said, trying to be as pleasant as possible.
As soon as the examiners entered the hovel, Elder Winters noticed something. "Say, what is that creature in the cage?" he asked.
"A blue elf, perhaps," Madame Blackthorne said. "It would not be a...a Smurp?"
"I found it out in the forest," Gargamel responded, covering up the cage with a cloth draped over it. "Unfortunately, he is very old and sick...and all that he ever eats is cake."
"Let's get to the reason of the visit, shall we?" Madame Blackthorne said. "As you know, the Order has received several complaints about you."
"Frankly, I do not see what you reproach me with, Madame," Gargamel said.
"Then let me be the one to inform you," Elder Winters said, pulling out a record book and looking through its various entries to find those listed with Gargamel's name next to them. "Let's see...we have the case of the peasant who wanted to have a head of beautiful attractive hair due to premature baldness..."
"So?" Gargamel said. "That's what I gave him."
"True, but since then he suffers from a chronic case of incurable hiccups," Elder Winters said.
"A...a regrettable side effect, one that I'm ashamed of," Gargamel said.
"And the lady who wanted to see a Prince Charming, only to find that he was an ogre of a man?" Elder Winters asked, reading off another entry in his book.
"You know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Gargamel said.
"And the knight who thought he was made invincible?" Elder Winters asked as he read another entry.
"A...a slight error in dosage?" Gargamel said, sounding a bit more fearful.
"If you like, we have other cases to remind you of," Elder Winter said as he continued to look through his book.
"No, no, please!" Gargamel said. "It will not be necessary!"
"Very well, then," Madame Blackthorne said as Elder Winters put away his record book. "Since you have no objection, we will begin with the inspection of your premises."
And so Gargamel watched as the two case examiners inspected everything in his hovel, being very careful and meticulous as they went about to inspect his potions, his instruments, his tables and chairs, everywhere that the Order would consider important. After what seemed to be a long while, the case examiners reported their findings.
"I must admit that Gargamel's hovel is clean enough," Madame Blackthorne said as she wrote her findings in her record book.
"Yes...there's just enough cobwebs to set the mood," Elder Winters added. "In addition, our brother owns a beautiful assortment of toxic, foul, and evil potions."
"I think many are out of date, but whether they are still useful...," Madame Blackthorne said. She then turned to Gargamel. "You must pass a practical exam. You will make a preparation ahead and then test it out yourself. We will see for ourselves whether you are capable of doing so all by memory."
Gargamel noticed that the case examiners were about to sit down right where they could see Papa Smurf. "Oh, with pleasure...but please sit here," he said, moving the bench they were going to sit on so that they wouldn't see Papa Smurf's cage being behind them. "You will see the preparation much better."
Madame Blackthorne felt a little uncomfortable with the adjustments. "Oh, very well."
After the two examiners have sat down, Elder Winters pulled out a parchment. "Please prepare...the lotion of invisibility," he told Gargamel.
"No...no problem at all," Gargamel said. "Let's see...what do I take now...?"
While Gargamel kept the examiners distracted, Papa Smurf wrote out the ingredients for the invisibility lotion on the cloth with a piece of graphite and hung it outside his cage for Gargamel to read.
"Yes, yes, I know it now," Gargamel said as he read from the cloth. "Sesame oil...aloes...resin of...aliboufier...serpentine, oximel, agrimony, and slug juice."
Elder Winters looked at the list of ingredients from his parchment. "Why, that's correct! Proceed with the preparation!"
And so Gargamel prepared the invisibility lotion with the ingredients, mixing them together in his cauldron. "Everything is now crushed and mixed," he said, and then he started waving his hands over the cauldron and recited, "Invisiblus nivuniconnius!" He reached into the cauldron to immerse his hand in the mixture and soon he and the case examiners saw that his hand turned invisible.
Madame Blackthorne nodded while she wrote the results in her record book. "The test is conclusive," she said. "As soon as you can wash your hand, we will proceed with a series of multiple choice questions."
"Oh, sure, why not...I'm very good with multiple choice questions," Gargamel said with some confidence as he went to the pump to wash his hand of the invisibility lotion.
"And so with Papa Smurf's help, Gargamel was able to pass through the examination, with neither of the two humans noticing Papa Smurf giving Gargamel the right answers," Narrator said.
And Empath and his fellow Smurfs saw Gargamel sitting down with the examiners to answer the multiple choice questions. "What stone corresponds to the planet Saturn: the opal, the sapphire, or the topaz?" Elder Winters asked.
Papa Smurf stuck up two fingers. "The sapphire, of course," Gargamel answered.
"What plant do you call the 'cock's spurs': peony, sage, or lemon verbena?" Elder Winters asked.
Papa Smurf stuck up one finger. "How childish! The answer is peony!" Gargamel answered.
"What is the best painkiller: earthworms, rabbit droppings, or dried bugs?" Elder Winters asked.
Papa Smurf stuck up two fingers. "Why, that would be rabbit droppings," Gargamel answered.
Elder Winters checked off each of the right answers. "Very good, dear brother. That was flawless, and this time, it was without any hesitation."
"Oh, you know, as soon as I started...," Gargamel said, making it sound like it was nothing to him.
"For us, the review is satisfactory," Elder Winters said as he and his associate got up from their seats to prepare for departure.
"But the final decision belongs to our Grand Master, make no mistake," Madame Blackthorne said. "And the complaints about you are very serious."
"You know, between us, Gargamel," Elder Winters hinted, "if you were going to offer us this interesting creature that you have in the cage, it would play very heavily in your favor."
"You mean Papa...I mean, this old Smurf?" Gargamel said, looking toward Papa Smurf. "It bothers me a bit that I would have to give up such a specimen like him! You see, I need him, for we have become...well, rather attached." Then something dawned on him. "Wait a minute! I do have another specimen in the pantry! I will give you one!"
"Gargamel! No!" Papa Smurf shouted.
"Wait a minute! It speaks?" Elder Winters said, noticing it from Papa Smurf.
"Let this one ramble on for a bit...but the other one is in perfect health," Gargamel said as he unlocked the cage and grabbed Papa Smurf from it, muffling his mouth so that he couldn't speak. He then went over to the pantry to unlock it. "Ah, here she is," he said as he opened the pantry and reached in to grab Smurfette.
"It is a female?" Madame Blackthorne asked, curious as she saw Gargamel pull Smurfette out of the pantry.
Suddenly Smurfette bit Gargamel's hand, causing him to yell. "Quite the feisty one, isn't she?" he said as he quickly put her into the cage that he took down from the ceiling and locked it, taking the cloth out of it. "Here, take this one! The Master will be very happy. In addition, she is very charming."
"Oh, you smurf," Smurfette shouted, "You mean, horrible, and nasty wizard! You won't smurf away with this!"
"Uh, what did she say?" Elder Winters asked as he received the cage from Gargamel.
"It's just her way of saying goodbye, for she will sorely miss being in this place that she used to be her home," Gargamel replied as he saw the case examiners to the door. "Anyway, have a good trip, thank you for visiting, and many things for the Master himself."
"If the Master finds anything else that's displeasing, you will be the first to know about it from us," Madame Blackthorne said before she and Elder Winters departed.
As soon as they left, Gargamel sat down and wiped his brow with the cloth in his hand. "Gargamel, you're an ignoble traitor," Papa Smurf said very sternly.
"Now why would you call me that, Papa Smurf?" Gargamel said. "I have promised to let Smurfette go, and I have kept my word. And I promise that neither of you will ever see your little Smurfs again...except in my cooking pot."
"Oh, Pappy Smurf, now we'll never be able to escape if Smurfette's being taken to this Grand Master of that Order," Sassette said.
"Let's hope that Smurfette won't let them smurf her too far if there's even a possibility for her to escape and tell the other Smurfs, Sassette," Papa Smurf said.