"So by the time morning smurfed, we were all ready to get the wedding started," Smurfette said. "We smurfed the whole thing over to Bigmouth's house to make sure Bigmouth and Bignose wouldn't find their way back to our village when it was all over. We still left them at Smurf-size, though, because we were hoping that they would enjoy the wedding cake that we had smurfed for them when the exsmurfing of vows was through."
"This one is curious to see where Gargamel would fit into this particular tale, as we had seen him earlier in it," Polaris said.
Smurfette giggled. "Well, not that I enjoy talking about Gargamel, but he would appear in it not long after the wedding got started."
And as Smurfette continued the story, Empath and Polaris saw that the Smurfs had all gathered around outside Bigmouth and Bignose's house, with Bigmouth dressed in a nice suit and Bignose dressed in a beautiful dress. The Smurfs themselves were also dressed for the occasion, with most of the male Smurfs wearing tuxedos and ties and Smurfette and Sassette also wearing beautiful dresses. Bigmouth seemed like he would rather be in anything else but in his suit, but his bride Bignose didn't seem to mind what she was wearing.
Bigmouth was waiting at the altar with Hefty and Handy as his ushers while Bignose seemed to be taking a good deal of time inside the house getting last-minute preparations all ready. "Well, where is she?" Bigmouth asked, sounding impatient. "Bigmouth doesn't like being kept waiting forever."
"Just hold on for a minute for so, Bigmouth," Handy said. "Tailor is making sure your bride is all set to be smurfed down the altar to be smurfed to you."
"You smurf to be so eager to be alone with Bignose, and frankly I wouldn't blame you," Hefty said.
"I can't believe we have to smurf through all of this just to marry two of the biggest ogres of the forest," Handy said.
"It's better that they do get married, if only to keep them from smurfing after us for a good while anyway," Hefty said.
Meanwhile, Elderberry was speaking to Papa Smurf, who was dressed in his priestly robes. "It was thoughtful of you to invite us to this wedding, however strange it may be for us to attend the wedding of ogres," Elderberry said.
"It was mostly Smurfette's idea to invite our female friends here to see the young ogress off to be smurfed with her husband," Papa Smurf said.
"At least it won't be like the wedding we attended of Woody and Laconia, which was nearly destroyed by that evil human sorcerer," Elderberry said.
"We're on the watch for him, no matter what happens here today, Elderberry," Papa Smurf said.
Then soon the Smurfs could hear the Bridal Chorus playing as Brainy emerged as the best Smurf to escort Bignose out of the house to be joined with her husband at the altar, with Smurfette following behind to carry the bride's flowing train. Sassette followed behind as the flower girl, and Snappy was beside her as the ring bearer. The two looked very uncomfortable being seen together with each other having anything to do with a wedding.
"Ooh, Bignose looks very beautiful in that dress," Bigmouth said as he saw her approaching. "But Bigmouth can't wait to see her be out of it."
Handy laughed. "At least you're very honest about how you feel about Bignose."
"As long as neither of us have to smurf it, Handy," Hefty said.
Papa Smurf took his place at the altar as soon as Brainy and his entourage reached the altar with the bride. "Yoohoo, Bigmouth," Bignose said, attracting his attention.
"Oh, Bignose, Bigmouth didn't think you would make it," Bigmouth said as he lifted the veil of his bride.
"Well, Bignose is here, and Bignose is going to marry you no matter what happens today," Bignose said, smiling.
"My little Smurfs and fellow guests, as both your Papa Smurf and the leader of this village," Papa Smurf began, "it smurfs me great pleasure to smurf the privilege of smurfing these two fine ogres together in the bonds of smurfy matrimony. As it was smurfed in the beginning, so shall it smurf by the decree of nature, that male and female shall be smurfed together as one so that they may be fruitful with the blessings of love and family. I know how eager the both of you are in wanting to smurf eternity with each other. However, if there is any Smurf who feels that these two should not be smurfed together in marriage, please smurf now or forever hold your smurf!"
"Well, I have an objection!" a familiar voice shouted out. "I think you Smurfs should spend all of eternity as part of my Philosopher's Stone!"
The Smurfs and guests all turned to see who it was that was crashing the wedding. It was Gargamel with Azrael and Scruple following right behind him, the two humans armed with nets ready to swoop down and catch their prey.
"Run, my little Smurfs!" Papa Smurf called out.
As most of the Smurfs ran here and there to escape being captured by Gargamel and Scruple, Bigmouth and Bignose decided to stand their ground. "Bigmouth, who invited Gargamel to be part of our wedding?" Bignose asked.
"Bigmouth certainly didn't, and Bigmouth doesn't think that the Smurfs brought him here either," Bigmouth answered. Then suddenly Azrael pounced upon Bignose, trying to attack her and tear her to shreds. "Hey, leave her alone, you pussycat!" he shouted.
"Bigmouth, help me!" Bignose cried out, her being under the paws of her attacker.
"Bigmouth warned you, and now Bigmouth is going to give it to you," Bigmouth said, delivering such a powerful punch in Azrael's face that he cried out in pain and retreated in fear.
Bigmouth reached out and picked Bignose up onto her feet. "You okay, Bignose?" he asked.
"I'm safe as long as I have you by my side," Bignose said, sounding relieved.
And then the two of them found themselves swept up into the net that Scruple was carrying. "Hey, Gargy, I've captured these two ogres," Scruple said, sounding excited. "What do you want me to do with these two?"
"Hold them there for a while until I have captured my fill of the Smurfs, and then we can drop them off into the river where we can dispose of them," Gargamel replied, as he continued his chase.
Elderberry was with Papa Smurf hiding behind a rock when they saw Scruple capturing Bigmouth and Bignose. "Oh dear," Elderberry moaned. "What are we going to do about this situation?"
"I guess it's time we return the bride and groom to their normal sizes," Papa Smurf said. He pulled out his magic wand and pointed it toward the ogres, saying, "Bigmouth, Bignose, giganto!"
At that instant, Bigmouth and Bignose both grew back to their regular sizes, breaking the net that Scruple was carrying. Scruple looked and saw what had happened. "Uh, Gargy, I think we have a problem," Scruple said, feeling a lump forming in his throat.
"Don't tell me about your problems, you idiot!" Gargamel said. "We almost have the Smurfs right where we want them!"
"GARGAMEL!!!" Bigmouth shouted very loudly.
Gargamel stopped what he was doing to see that Bigmouth and Bignose were back to their regular sizes. "Oh no!" he said to himself.
"Bigmouth doesn't like uninvited guests to his wedding," Bigmouth said, approaching the evil wizard with every thunderous step.
Gargamel found himself cowering in fear. "Oh, please, Mr. Bigmouth, please don't hurt me!" he pleaded.
"Now Bigmouth and Bignose are going to send you on a farewell trip away from here," Bigmouth said as he picked up Gargamel and Bignose picked up Scruple and Azrael.
"No...NO...NO...MOMMY!!!" Gargamel cried out as Bigmouth whirled him around and around before throwing him high over the trees and straight toward the muck pond in front of Gargamel's house.
"Uh, can't we talk about this like normal people?" Scruple said fearfully before he was thrown along with Azrael in the same direction and landing in the same location with their master.
The three of them picked themselves up from the dirty water they fell into. "Well, that was one fine mess you made for us, Gargy," Scruple said.
"Ooh, I hate those Smurfs," Gargamel growled.
With Gargamel, Azrael, and Scruple no longer present to cause anymore trouble, Papa Smurf decided to continue the ceremony with Bigmouth and Bignose back in their regular sizes.
"Bigmouth, do you take Bignose to be your smurfully-wedded wife, to cherish, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better and for worse, to love her as long as you both shall smurf?"
"I do, Papa Smurf, Bigmouth will do," Bigmouth said eagerly.
"And Bignose, do you take Bigmouth to be your smurfully-wedded husband, to cherish, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better and for worse, to love him as long as you both shall smurf?"
"I surely do, Papa Smurf," Bignose said as she looked lovingly at Bigmouth.
"Then, by the powers smurfed in me by Mother Nature and Father Time, who smurf before us as witnesses, and by all the Smurfs who have smurfed throughout the ages, I shall pronounce that Bigmouth and Bignose are now husband and wife," Papa Smurf said. "May this bond between them smurf for all time!"
Every Smurf in the audience cheered wildly at the pronouncement, while Sassette thrust her fist in the air to show her approval.
"And now you may kiss the bride," Papa Smurf said to the now-married couple.
The audience cheered again as Bigmouth and Bignose kissed each other, feeling like this was the best moment of their lives.
"This is just so beautiful, I can't stop crying," Weepy said.
"I hate crying at weddings," Grouchy said.
"Oh, Bigmouth, does that mean we can now have the baby?" Bignose asked.
"What Bignose wants, Bigmouth will give," Bigmouth said, also sounding eager to get on with what he and his bride wanted. "I'm sorry, Smurfs, but as much as we want to stay for the party, we now want to be alone with each other."
"Before you do, Bigmouth, I think that your bride should smurf the bouquet that will signify who will be the next to marry," Brainy suggested.
"Uh, yeah, and then I can catch it so that I'll be the next to marry," Clumsy said.
"Clumsy, it's only the females that can catch the bouquet, not us!" Brainy said.
"But don't you want to be the next to marry, Brainy?" Clumsy asked.
"You still smurf a lot to learn when it smurfs to weddings, my friend," Brainy said.
"Oh, that Bignose can do," Bignose said. She then pulled a bunch of big flowers out of the garden that was growing in front of their house and decided to toss it. "Here you are, my fellow Smurfs!"
Most of the Smurfs watched as the big bouquet of flowers landed right on top of both Brainy and Clumsy, flattening them to the ground.
"Great Smurfiny Crickets, I didn't expect those two to be smurfing the bouquet together," Tapper said, sounding a bit amused.
"I hope those laddies will smurf the right one together someday," Duncan said, also laughing.
The Smurfs watched as Bigmouth picked up Bignose in his arms and carried her to the entrance to try walking her across the threshold. Instead, Bigmouth kept having Bignose's head hit the door a few times, making the scene rather painful to bear. "Bigmouth!" she cried out.
"Uh, sorry, Bignose, Bigmouth should think a little better about this," Bigmouth said. He turned Bignose so that she would enter through the door vertically instead of horizontally sideways.
There was a sound of clothes being torn to shreds, and then the Smurfs felt the ground shaking beneath them in rhythm as they could hear pleasurable moans coming from within the house.
Greedy watched as his beautiful wedding cake started to sink with each hard shake of the ground. "My cake!" he cried out.
"Oh dear," Elderberry said. "I didn't think that the wedding would immediately end in this fashion."
"That's how they wanted it, that's how we'll honor it, Elderberry," Papa Smurf said. "My little Smurfs, I think it's time that we leave the newlyweds alone for their personal time together."
"I would agree with that," Tapper said. "There are just some things the Almighty doesn't want us to witness when it smurfs to a wedding."
"Besides, I wouldn't want to think about what's smurfing on with them right now," Duncan said.
"I hate thinking about two ogres in love with each other," Grouchy said as the Smurfs all left the outside of Bigmouth and Bignose's house together.
Back in the Smurf Village, Tapper held a toast in his tavern for all his fellow Smurfs to attend, with the grown-ups each given a glass of sarsaparilla ale to toast with, and the Smurflings and Baby Smurf a glass of smurfbery juice.
"To Bigmouth and Bignose, and to their future together as a husband and wife," Tapper said. "May the Almighty smurf them together like threefold cords that cannot quickly be broken."
"To Bigmouth and Bignose," all the Smurfs said together as they raised their glasses and then took a drink together.
"That was the quickest wedding that I have ever attended, Smurfette," Sassette said. "I didn't think it would last as long as it did, if it weren't for Pappy Gargamel being in it."
"We're just smurfing what friends smurf for each other, Sassette," Smurfette said. "Hopefully we'll have a wedding that will last much longer where every Smurf can enjoy themselves."
"Do you think that might be your wedding sometime soon, Smurfette?" Sassette asked.
"I still haven't found the right Smurf yet, Sassette, but here's hoping that it might be soon that we will meet," Smurfette answered.
"Gosh, Brainy, you and I both smurfed the bouquet together," Clumsy said.
"So I gathered," Brainy said.
"So does that mean the two of us are going to be next ones to marry?" Clumsy asked.
"I wouldn't imagine us ever being married, let alone to each other, Mother Nature forbid!" Brainy said.
"Oh, gee, Brainy, why do you think that wouldn't happen?" Clumsy asked.
"It's just how Mother Nature intended marriages to be, Clumsy, between a male and a female, so that they could love each other and smurf families," Brainy said.
"But I wonder which female is going to love you if it's not going to be Smurfette?" Clumsy asked.
"I am beginning to wonder myself, Clumsy," Brainy said.
Papa Smurf joined with Tapper and Duncan at the counter. "Well, all things consmurfered, I think that was one of the best weddings I have ever smurfed over," Papa Smurf said.
"At least it wasn't boring, Papa Smurf," Duncan said. "I surely would have wanted to smurf Gargamel my best wishes for crashing it."
"But I'm glad that Bigmouth and Bignose are united as a couple together," Tapper said. "Even if they won't become believers yet, I'm still certain that the Almighty has a plan smurfed for their lives."
"I'd be curious to find out what that plan is with those two ogres, laddie," Duncan said.
"We just have to smurf things one day at a time, my good Duncan," Tapper said. "If we knew everything about what the Almighty has in smurf for us, would we be humble enough to continue following Him?"
"So it's not our role to question, just to smurf our faith in Him," Duncan said, realizing what Tapper was getting at.
"However it smurfs out, we should be thankful to have such good friends as big as they are smurfing in our forest, my little Smurfs," Papa Smurf said, sounding pleased.
"I'll smurf a toast to that, Papa Smurf," Tapper said as he, Duncan, and Papa Smurf raised their glasses together.
"And so that was how Bigmouth and Bignose were united as a couple, with some details smurfed in by Narrator to make it complete," Smurfette said.
"This smurf appreciates you telling it, Smurfette," Empath said. "This smurf could only wish to have been there to experience it firsthand."
"This one shares the same sentiment, Empath," Polaris said. "But this one can see that there are some things that are best left for us not to have experienced firsthand for our sakes."
"This smurf can see your point," Empath said. "Having to endure being under the threat of Gargamel on a constant basis is not something this smurf would want to live with for the rest of this smurf's days."
"Or the threat of any being that would endanger the lives of our fellow Smurfs, which is why we stand in constant vigilance as guardians of the Smurf Village," Polaris said.
"Well, now that we are here, taking care of Bigmouth and Bignose's baby...," Empath began to say before he realized that Bigfeet was now gone.
"Oh dear, it seems that we were too occupied with my story to consmurf ourselves with the welfare of Bigmouth's baby," Smurfette said.
"Not only that, but the Smurflings are not present among us either," Polaris said.
"They must be chasing after the baby even as we speak," Empath said. "Come, let us go forth and see if we can't track down where Bigfeet and the Smurflings may have gone to."
"This one will accompany you, Empath," Polaris said.
"And I'm coming with you two," Smurfette said as the three of them headed off.