"Reporter's Inside Stories: An Interview With Spinner Smurf"

Story by Vic George
Based on the Smurf concept of characters by Peyo
You want to cha-cha? Let's get down, man!

Reporter: Hello there, fellow smurfers. This is Reporter Smurf coming to you live from the Smurf Village, and with me today is a Smurf who's responsible for making his fellow Smurfs dance...well, one of them, anyway. His name is Spinner, and his job is being a disk jockey at Smurf parties -- a job that's been in high demand when the phonosmurf was big and now with the crystal disk smurfer. He's also been recording and producing albums for his fellow Smurfs, and one of his notable works is, of course, Smurfette's Ray Of Sunshine album which has been really popular in the Smurf Village, even more so than the Smurflings' "Smurfbop" song. I'd like to thank you for smurfing here with me today, Spinner.

Spinner: Hey, no problem, amigo.

Reporter: First of all, why are you called Spinner? Most of your fellow Smurfs knew you by your birth name Pedro.

Spinner: I don't mind the name Pedro, but honestly I like the name Spinner better 'cause I'm always spinning something on the turntable. Even before that, I would be spinning things like plates on my finger, man. I would be impressing my fellow Smurfs like that all the time with that stuff. But frankly, I like to be smurfing music like my fellow Smurfs, though the only problem is that I'm not good with smurfing instruments. That don't mean that I wouldn't know how to smurf music together to put onto a phonosmurf or a crystal disk.

Reporter: I can see how good you are in smurfing that kind of job, Spinner. It's too bad that you can't smurf your own music to smurf on your own records, though.

Spinner: Yeah, you know, each of us Smurfs' got something that we're good at, and I want to think that my job as a record producer will make Smurfs appreciate the work that goes into smurfing the kind of music that they listen to every day. It's not all fun and games when you got Smurfs who want their music to sound really good and just the way that they want it. But I'm not going to smurf them anything less than my best in the studio.

Reporter: So how was it working with Smurfette in the studio when it came time to smurfing together her first album?

Spinner: Oh, man, she's got the best musicians smurfing with her...well, maybe with the exception of Harmony, who can never smurf a good tune from his horn, but here he wasn't smurfing out of tune with everybody else. It was mostly her show and Empath's and Orbit's since they were the ones who smurfed up with the songs for the album, and I just simply recorded them and smurfed together the tracks, and they got smurfed into the final mix which got smurfed onto the master crystal disk. I had to listen to it several times in a row, but I never got tired of listening to Smurfette sing.

Reporter: You think you'll be working with Smurfette again sometime in the future?

Spinner: She can smurf in my studio anytime, man. I don't know what's got planned for a follow-up album, though, but I hope it will be just as successful.

Reporter: Speaking of music, do you have any particular favorite style of music that you like to listen to?

Spinner: Yeah, I like to listen to Pitufo style music like my Papa and Mama Smurf used to listen to and even play, man. You know, it's got a lot of rhythm and a lot of horns and tambourines and stuff like that, and it plays really fast and it gets Smurfs dancing. Of course, I can't sing the lyrics to Pitufo style music because I don't know much about the language, which is a real shame, 'cause my cousin Gonzales -- you know him as Zipper -- likes to speak in that language a lot, and I have to tell him that you got to speak in Smurf because nobody else will understand you when you speak in Pitufo.

Reporter: (Chuckles.) I understand what you mean, Spinner. Just like Painter likes to speak in Schtroumpf on occasion, even though hardly any Smurf understands what he smurfs half the time.

Spinner: Anyway, I like that we have the cultures of different Smurf clans in this village, man. I mean, you've got the Smurfs, and you got the Schtroumpfs, and you got the Pitufos, which is me, Gonzales, and Antonio, who is Dancer Smurf. You've got the Schlumpfs and the Puffos and the Ailills and the McSmurfs and all that. It makes life in the Smurf Village very interesting because we can learn something from the various cultures of our clans, and yet we're still all Smurfs because you can't deny that all of us have the same skin and the same blood and the same smurfy blue tail in the back.

Reporter: Now I hear that one of your favorite habits, besides partying, is smoking, and that one herb you like to smurf in particular is the one that you call "pitufojuano", or what the others call smurfnip.

Spinner: What's wrong with that, man? It's an herb that Mother Nature made for us Smurfs to enjoy, even if it does make my vision get all smurfy with those rainbow colors and sparkly lights and such. I enjoy smurfing it very much because it makes me feel really good, and besides I don't see what's the harm in smurfing it, as I'm sure some of my fellow Smurfs who tried it can attest to.

Reporter: What about the Smurfs who say that smurfnip gives you brain damage?

Spinner: Really, do I sound like a Smurf who's got brain damage? I think those who make those kind of statements about smurfnip really need to try some for themselves and see if their brains are still smurfing afterward. Of course, I can't speak for Smurfs like Clumsy or Dimwitty because, you know, they're just naturally that way from the smurf-go. On the contrary, Papa Smurf has discovered that smurfnip has some medical benefits, such as treating Smurfs with eye conditions like Orbit, who can't even smurf out of his house without those shades, man, plus it can provide pain relief, increased appetite, decreased nausea, muscle relaxation. The thing's like a wonder drug, man.

Reporter: But he also knows that smurfnip also has side effects like those hallucinations that smokers experience and the vision impairment.

Spinner: That's only if you smurf the straight stuff, man. But mix it with a few other herbs like catnip and damiana like some of us do when we smurf the stuff, and you hardly smurf any of it. That's how me and Surfer likes to enjoy it, you know. It smurfs off that wonderful flavor and aroma that we like to call "diet pitufojuano", and no, it isn't a gateway to smurfing other kinds of drugs that are flat-out dangerous to smurf with, like the pixie dust that the pixies won't let anybody smurf near and use just for the fun of it. Pitufojuano is all any Smurf needs to really make their day feel so smurfy.

Reporter: You know that there are some who disagree with you on that, Spinner, like Tapper who believes that all you really need is the Almighty.

Spinner: Hey, man, I have no problem with what Tapper believes in if it smurfs him that peace within himself, and I have no problem with smurfing what he believes. What I do have a problem with is having what he believes be enforced as a law around the Smurf Village, like you either have to smurf like that or you can go smurf elsewhere. You try to smurf your religion into law, I don't think you're going to smurf a lot of converts to your religion unless you just want to brainwash Smurfs like the Empath says the Psyche Master does with the Psyches and make them believe whatever he wants them to believe, and if you don't have the smurfs to brainwash people into believing what you want them to believe as a leader, then I think you better not act like that's going to be the next thing that you're going to smurf.

Reporter: Speaking of Empath, what was your impression of him when he fist smurfed into the village to smurf with us for a year during his time in Psychelia?

Spinner: Oh, man, I've never seen a Smurf acting like he's got no emotions at all, you know. That's what he's been like for a whole year, hardly smiling or getting so excited about anything that we Smurfs take for granted, and this was after 20 years of us trying to smurf like a community after we lost our parents and Papa Smurf had to smurf in and be Papa Smurf. I smurfed my best to show Empath that Smurfs are allowed to smurf a good time, you know, that everything in our lives wasn't always about work or obeying Papa Smurf or what smurf you.

Reporter: I guess no Smurf here really wants to talk about those years of having to get used to Papa Smurf being our only parent and our village leader. But anyway, what do you think of Empath now that he's grown up and smurfing his life outside of Psychelia?

Spinner: I think that he's an okay Smurf, man. I mean, he doesn't make a big smurf about himself or his "minds-eye" powers of his. He just wants to live the normal life of a Smurf, you know, and he's interested about the various clan cultures that make up Smurf culture. He likes all types of music, including Pitufo style, and he even tries to emulate it, maybe not as good as a true Pitufo, but then only a true Pitufo can capture the Pitufo style of music. That's just what I think, anyway.

Reporter: And what do you think of Empath being with Smurfette for the past two years? You think the two of them are going to get married or what?

Spinner: Aw, man, how can we see Empath pass up on that fine Pitufina that's smurfing before him every day? My only wish is that I can be Empath right about now, because Smurfette's showing more interest in him than in any of us. He's brave, he's smart, he's intelligent, he's more handsome than Vanity -- and I would only smurf that if I was her, but I'm not saying that because I want to be like her, you know. He seems to know how to treat a Pitufina, at least better than how some of us might know how to treat one, and he's okay in letting her smurf her own things, so why would I think that those two aren't going to get smurfed anytime soon?

Reporter: Let's say that Empath and Smurfette do get married sometime soon. Would you want to be smurfing for a companion of your own if there was a chance that we may find a village full of female Smurfs?

Spinner: A village full of Pitufinas would be like heaven, man. I just wouldn't be able to choose which one I'd want to marry, if every one of them was as smurfy as Smurfette. But yeah, I would want to be smurfing for my own companion even if there wasn't, because there's no way I would want to smurf the rest of my life wanting to smurf a little Pitufo of mine that I can be a Papa Smurf to.

Reporter: I wouldn't think that you would be the type of Smurf who would want to smurf a child of their own. I mean no offense to that, Spinner.

Spinner: No problem, amigo. I think most male Smurfs don't even think of wanting to smurf their own child because they just want to prove themselves as being male Smurfs first and foremost. There's always that big mountain to climb, that big dragon to smurf, that a male Smurf feels that they need to smurf in their lives in order to be someone that they can feel smurfy about themselves for smurfing. I was thinking that myself until Baby Smurf came along and changed how I felt and smurfed about myself, that if Baby Smurf is going to be like my son someday, I would need to smurf a better example than just smurfing a carefree life with no responsibility and always thinking I have to make myself bigger than I really am.

Reporter: So are there any closing thoughts you want to smurf to your readers?

Spinner: Yeah, these stories that Narrator's been smurfing with us are really far out, man. I mean, you've got to wonder what he's been smurfing to make up these things that he tells us about. First it's about these Smurfs who end up in this place called New York City because of a magical portal, and now it's about these Naughties that Gargamel created in order to kidnap Smurfette and make her reveal the formula that Papa Smurf used to make her into a real Smurf. These Naughties look pretty freaky to me with their grey skin, it makes me wonder why Gargamel didn't use blue clay like he did in real life when he created Smurfette.

Reporter: Maybe it's because there wasn't such a thing as blue clay in these stories, since Gargamel also created Smurfette in that same form, having light grey skin instead of blue.

Spinner: Yeah, that was totally mind-smurfing, seeing Smurfette turn into a Naughty and turning against her fellow Smurfs, and finding out that it was all a dream that she smurfed. We were thinking this is what Smurfette was going to become when we saw the story being smurfed in the Imaginarium during Narrator's telling, but no, all she did was be friends with Gargamel's minions and helped them to become Smurfs, when it turned out that it was Gargamel's plan all along to have his Naughties become Smurfs. I have to admit that I loved smurfing Vexy as a real Smurf, even if she was only part of that story.

Reporter: And so with that, this brings us to the end of another edition of Reporter's Inside Stories. Thank you again for letting me interview you, Spinner.

Spinner: Anytime, amigo. This tune's smurfing out to Vexy, wherever you are. (Ends with playing Britney Spears' "Ooh La La".)

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